Get More Influence by Shutting Your Mouth!
The more we automate in Finance, the more our value is in the advice we give.
But that doesn’t mean you should always be talking.
I recently had to consult with a lawyer, to the tune of $700 an hour.
I sent him some documents beforehand, including an overview of the situation.
But apparently, that hefty fee didn’t include any preparation for the meeting - just the meeting itself. Because 30 minutes into the session, I had to stop him.
“Sorry, can I just double check you understand the situation correctly?”
He had made numerous false assumptions about the issue.
I had to tell him to open the overview document I sent him.
Then he said, “Ah, I see. Well, ignore what I just said.”
Could I ignore the first half of his $700 fee?
The problem isn’t how much he was billing me, though it was a lot, the problem is he came ready to talk, not to listen.
Before giving any advice, he should have clarified the issue and made sure we were on the same page.
Do you think he’ll be getting repeat business? Eh, no!
The Talking Monster
There’s a concept in Michael Bungay Stanier’s The Coaching Habit that I keep thinking about.
He calls it the “advice monster.”
This refers to someone just like my lawyer friend who will jump in with advice and solutions as soon as you present them with a problem.
The advice monster comes from a good place. They believe offering quick fixes is the best way to be helpful.
I’m sure the lawyer really wanted to give me my $700 worth by loading me up with plenty of advice.
But the approach tends to have some unwanted outcomes:
- Assuming they fully understand the situation when they don’t have all the information
- Offering inappropriate solutions due to the lack of information
- Discouraging open dialogue as they are cutting people off with quick answers
So what's the cure for the advice monster?
Stanier encourages his readers to ask more questions and listen actively.
Since reading the book, I’ve been trying to take that approach. Before throwing out solutions, I ask questions until I’m certain I understand the situation. Then to be sure, I confirm with the person that I have heard them correctly.
I also say less.
Because people don’t want all the advice you have. They want a solution.
So give the first piece of advice and ask if that solves the problem. If it does, you’re done. No need to keep rambling on.
Talking too much turns people off. It’s the opposite of influence.
Talking Yourself Out of a Sale
Have you ever talked yourself out of a guaranteed sale?
When I was working as a Finance System Manager, the new Business Development Manager for our accounting system came to see me and my boss.
A 30 minute meeting, face to face - pre-Covid obviously!
The guy introduces himself and starts telling us about his role.
Twenty minutes later, my boss and I are looking at each other like, “Will this guy ever stop talking?”
We had money to spend. All he needed to do to get the sale was to say:
“Hi, I’m John. Nice to meet you. How can I help you improve your system?”
We would have told him what we wanted and given him a bag of cash to make it happen!
But he couldn’t shut his mouth, so he didn’t get any new business from us.
In fact, John must have talked himself out of more than just one sale. Not long after that meeting, we had a new Business Development Manager!
These days, there’s an element of sales in doing Finance. You need to get your stakeholders to buy into your ideas.
If you want to do that successfully, make sure you know when to stop talking!
If in Doubt
There’s a chapter in Robert Greene’s The 48 Laws of Power that had a significant impact on me:
Law 4: Always say less than necessary.
Or how I like to put it: If in doubt, shut your mouth!
Early in my career, that was one of my big mistakes. I spoke too much.
I was the advice monster.
Now, I let others do the talking. I listen before I speak.
I make a lot more progress with that approach.
If you want to make more progress without the pain, I’m running a webinar on Finance Presentations that Engage Stakeholders. Check out the details here.
- Alan “Shut Your Mouth” Cameron-Sweeney
P.S. Whenever you’re ready, here are three ways I can help you be more influential:
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